I want to be able to run bitcoind on a VPS I rented, but I neither have good bandwidth nor RAM so I do not want to be a full node. How would I go about configuring things so that I can run bitcoind without acting as a full node or relaying transactions?
You might not want to run
bitcoind at all then, you could just use a
client-only node (AKA
thin client) tool such as bitcoinj.
Before going for a
thin client approach, make sure you understand the differences from running a full node and also some security concerns.
Bitcoind does not support running in anything but a "full" mode.
As of bitcoin core v0.11, there is a way to run bitcoind in prune mode: How can I run bitcoind in pruning mode?
You could try some commands like connect for direct control of its peering. Trying to run the daemon without its database may be difficult, it looks for the database on startup. It might be easier if the daemon and its blockchain could be run in different locations, I havent heard of this yet.